I had a moment this week, the realisation that Mollys recovery is a long road; hit me. The increase in lorazepam hasn’t helped so far, the lamotrigine has been reduced, the titration needed to be slowed down. I have to trust this process and more importantly be there for Molly, it must be so awful for her, she barley leaves her room and she can be very negative. There are glimmers of hope and moments when we see the real Molly and those are priceless.

I am accepting that this road is long and because I have, the intensity of the situation has slightly decreased. I think in the processing of it all I have mustered up a bit more positive way of coping, I can only do as much as I can, she is in need of constant care and I have to let go, let others and as I said trust the process.

I watched a film (had to pay but it was worth it) ‘Unseen Caregivers‘ and a parent said “when you have a special needs son or daughter you almost have to be prepared to sacrifice your life” caregivers are unseen, the strain affects how they care for their loved one so it is vital that services see and support them too.

I read the following:

Focus on what you are able to provide. It’s normal to feel guilty sometimes but understand that no one is a “perfect” caregiver. Believe that you are doing the best you can and making the best decisions you can at any given time.

I will take that onboard because I never feel I do enough for Molly but I do know I am trying my very best.

I also appreciate this situation affects all my other children, for them having a stressed, always busy and stretched for time parent is not ideal – I get that too, I really do and I also feel sorry. 💙💙💙

Anyway just a quick update.

Happy weekend!

Luv C x