Beckham inspired me not to……………

Come on Claire, keep on keeping on.

I write tonight with a heavy heart, I left Molly a couple of hours ago.. another weekend where I sit beside her while she refuses to get up or even leave her room. Nothing but negativism – Molly is shutdown. My patience has been truly tested, sounds harsh to say that but in truth it’s quite unbearable and upsetting to see her like this. She has no idea what she wants or needs and any words spoken feel ‘demanding’ to her so I stay quiet. We have to be demand avoidant. Thank the lord she is still able to eat and drink or she would be in much graver trouble.

It’s intermittent, she can have days when she manages to get up dressed and out (maybe). This week she was able to have her Annual Health Check, and she also had a very important home visit from the Regional Affective Disorder Service (RADS) from St Nicholas hospital in Gosforth, Newcastle. For me, and with no exaggeration I have everything hanging on this appointment, it’s all I have left there is no where else that I know of to turn to.

This team deal with with adults with complex and/or treatment refractory affective disorders and other treatment refractory conditions complicated by an affective component. Now there’s a mouthful, I have always described Molly as complex but this confirms it.

Had to look up refractory:

“ refractory” or “treatment resistant” is inversely linked to the term “response”; that is “refractory” are those patients who do not respond. However a wider definition relates it to “remission” and thus “refractory” patients are those who do not remit.

Getting Molly back is not going to be an easy task and will be ‘trial and error’ I get that and it will take time – too much time I fear!

The RADS consultant assured me there is lots they can do to help Molly and left me with a smidge of HOPE.

Everything is crossed!!

Hang in there Molly.

Luv C x