Those were my last words on the previous blog and to be honest I meant it but today I don’t really know where to begin.
I am living of course and I do try to do my best but there is always the day that comes and knocks you off your feet again and yesterday was one of them! My Molly wanted to come home, she broke down and cried.
Today as I reflect I feel very angry and upset – why has everything got to be so hard?
When Molly my 22 year old (who realistically is so so much younger) cries and tries so hard to be brave, fear explodes inside of me. I drove away from the house in tears and full of rage, feeling ‘woe is me’ not pretty but good to be real and feel! (So they say)
I think” I know best” but I know I don’t always, I search for answers which maybe I won’t find.
- We took some flowers and eggs to Edenwood, could that have stirred something inside her, did I unknowingly make a big mistake?
- I didn’t stay for the weekend as I have done for the past 2 month
- late transitioning of the 1st new tenant.
ASC – your turn now:
You should again look at your processes – you don’t realise that you are making decisions around budgeting without fully considering the people you are impacting. You can go to work then leave for the weekend while others are left to pick up the pieces – I am sorry but in my opinion and experience you act too slow – be it policy or government to blame I believe you could try harder, Mollys lessons learnt was probably a tick box exercise to appease me – by the way it didn’t.
My lesson learnt this weekend it to NEVER forget that trying to spontaneously do normal things (just by default) doesn’t work, always stand by and do what you know works and if changes have to be made then make every effort to plan and prepare, explain in ways your child understands, do not assume it’s ok and give family and staff as much information as possible so they take on your experience as their mother/father who would ultimately die for them. I don’t think Molly has fully understood what was about to happen and now we all suffer the consequences – planning is key – always and it’s mandatory not an option!
As parents we can only live and breath if they, our special children are content – happy and accept that it is for the best that they don’t come home….
or is it? – inner voice – please shut up and give me a break!
Right gonna get up now and keep on keeping on ..,.
To all of you battling out there sending 🙏🏻 and ♥️
Luv C x