Choking….

I have a lot to get off my chest this evening. The choking feeling has subsided and so now I can begin….Imagine fighting so hard for years,yes years, you are tired and realise there is yet another mountain to climb and you have to get ready again because under no circumstances can you give up!

Can your dream of your daughter living in her own home being well supported ever become a reality? I have no doubt that it can but the burning hoops you have to jump through are demoralising and outrageous, exhausting and they choke you.

There is no easy road to take and I often don’t feel equipped with enough adequate knowledge to get there. I know what I have to do – ask for help, get in touch with the right people and learn very quickly as time is of the essence now. There doesn’t appear to be a handbook on this subject more to the pity.

Molly needs to move on from her admission to hospital and soon, this is becoming so obvious. Lots of meetings need to be arranged but in what order? God only knows…..and please stop cancelling them if you are reading this!!!!
I have met with the Social Housing Landlord and the potential property was informally accepted as suitable. Now we have to exhaust vacancies known to Adult Social Care but as yet they have not identified any to me which is very frustrating.

Transition as I have repeatedly said affects Mollys mental health, so if this isn’t handled with that in mind and she does become ill again someone will have a lot to answer to and I will expose this journey, the negligence and how ultimately admissions into hospital are more costly to the tax payers and draining the NHS. ASC are failing to move people on who the become bed blockers – a word I had never heard of before this experience.

Back in September I told many professionals that their plan for Mollys weekly diary was too complicated and would make her ill, the Mania arrived followed by the section in January – I rest my case.

Now that I have resumed a normal breathing pattern, can see more clearly and have adjusted my attitude I will fight on….

We will move forward with or without others approval to purchase the house. Two other lovely girls will get a home too and with their strong and passionate families fighting their corner we will succeed and this dream will become a reality.

In the mean time inhale and exhale. This may seem a bit dramatic and tomorrow is another day and all that but today right now this is how I feel!

Better off my chest I can breathe again.

Luv C x

Going under……

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Sometimes we can get overloaded with our stuff and that’s ok…..things happen (one on top of the other it seems). As a new day arrives things can then often be seen in a more positive light. If I go quiet or cancel plans don’t worry I am just ‘going under’ to recharge for a while.
My friend Jean took Molly to her house tonight, they had a great time together and watched a movie.

This is short post but I am happy that this day has had a happier ending. Small steps, yes small steps, small is often enough.

Sweet dreams all
Luv C x

No words……

8B4D22BA-72F2-412C-B446-CFFD06F43C7BMolly wants out!!! I mentioned previously that Molly wants to go home. It could be seen as a sign of her getting better with more insight but I am not sure. Let’s think and rewind a moment…..

  • Insight? maybe
  • lots more agency staff (unsettling for those with Autism who like continuity)
  • couple of disturbing incidents that have occurred recently
  • Staff leaving due to new shift patterns
  • Dynamics of other patients

It’s hard to know what has caused Mollys unsettled period, transition of any nature is hard, when I left her yesterday she was angry kicking out and swearing.  I ask her “what is going on?” but she just can’t explain other than to confirm she just wants everything to go back to normal.  Maybe I am totally off the mark here but I don’t switch off,  I can’t …..

I am always searching for answers, always!

The ‘new’ house will be checked by the social housing landlords later this month. It may need alterations to comply with H&S sleeping arrangements for the Carers.

The meeting with the ASC to discuss Mollys care package and to look at matches cancelled with short notice today – all very very disappointing and a waste of my Annual leave. I gave this meeting high priority and not having it will only Continue reading “No words……”

Home……

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It’s been an up and down week so far, a couple of steps back then a couple forward.  I am taking Molly off the ward quite regularly now and brought her home this Saturday.  This was the first time since 3pm on the 4th January that she has stepped foot inside our home – all she did was smile, really smile in fact she was beaming!  I planned the second part of the visit to be elsewhere just in case she wouldn’t go back.  Yet again she amazed me by taking it all in her stride and went back to Edenwood (college to Molly) with ease, what a star🌟

I believe she could now be getting ready for discharge soon so the supported living is becoming more urgent. The process is so long and complicated – I won’t go into it right now.  The meeting with my lovely investors went well on Friday, they are both willing to go ahead just simply to help Molly and I will be forever thankful. Negotiations are now on the way to purchase the property in question.

I am feeling stressed knowing Molly wants to come home it is a sign of her becoming well but fills me with concern.  I first applied for supported living in December 2015 and there has not been much progress to speak of since so you can maybe understand more the reason for my current concerns.  If I was to fold and agree for her to return home with me then I don’t believe it would ever happen.  Not agreeing does not sit well either, so for now I have an internal battle racing round inside my core….. I feel sick!

I know what I have to do to change theses feelings it’s a case of change the thoughts. Think positive and see the brighter future – Molly being set up in her own home with two other lovely girls, with great support and care, living a happy life as independently as possible. It isn’t a big ask is it? It believe it’s not.  I also have to consider ‘what if I wasn’t here’ I need to know she is set up to cope without me too.  I want to go to her house for tea, visit her whenever I want or fit in with her plans, her new life.

If you know of any success stories about supported living please let me know – I need to know what’s going on out there….

When I write these words I do appreciate we are all fighting battles out there, for now all my energy is focusing on Mollys  health and her future. I also know our happiness should not be dependant on someone else’s but Molly and I are tied together as one and I am happy when she is, that’s just how it is.

This has all got to work out ‘no ifs no buts’

ITS HAPPENING……

Luv C x